"Live Peace – Speak Kindness – Dwell in Possibility" ~Amanda Tapping


Checking In

Yes, I’m still around. I apologize that I have been so silent lately, so much has been going on with life in general and I’m not one to blog about my personal life very much, unless crochet is involved somehow, anyway. I know I have talked about a new hat pattern in my previous posts, and I do plan on getting that up for sale, as soon as I am able to get decent photos of the finished hats. I finally got a mannequin head for hat photos, so hopefully soon.

I did have a bit of a creative dry spell after the hats were finished, but my creative muse has recently come back with an idea for a pattern eBook. It will be patterns for shawls, wraps, and possibly a capelet or 2.

(I do have bit of a personal update under the “read more” at the bottom of this post.)

This will most likely be the only time you will see me write so much about any of my personal life. I will most likely stick to my crochet talk and new upcoming patterns in future posts. I am very excited about the eBook project. I already have a wrap, 2 different triangle shawls, and a hooded capelet, all waiting to be written up. The hat pattern is already written, just waiting for photos and some minor editing done.

This year so far has been a difficult one for me, as well as busy and exciting in some ways, and not so much in others. As I mentioned in the previous post, my daughter and step-daughter graduated from high school and college, respectively, and my oldest son had been progressing well from his health challenges, although he did have a bit of a setback when he came down with a bad virus which gave him a series of fevers for a few days, and feeling completely miserable. It took him at least 2 weeks to recover from the illness. For him, a run of the mill virus is a big deal because he very, very rarely gets them. He is a 23-year-old who has Asperger’s Syndrome, which is more recently know as Mild, or High-Functioning, Autism, and he has Shunted Hydrocephalus with Aqueductal Stenosis and Chiari Type 1 Malformation, so sick to him is a shunt revision surgery or a shunt infection. Anyway, he was quite the handful with a “normal” virus. Then there is my youngest son, who is very much a typical 15-year-old boy, but one with the challenges of Tourette Syndrome, just diagnosed a year ago, and Anxiety, along with mild Asthma. My daughter is no longer living at home, is job hunting and will be starting community college in the fall.

Then there is me. As I have mentioned in my About Me page, I have Fibromyalgia, which is challenging enough, but what I don’t talk about is that I also have Bipolar Disorder. My “lows”, or depressive times, are definitely when I have my creative dry spells, I don’t even have the energy to pick up a hook during those times, let alone do anything what-so-ever, and I get easily overwhelmed. It’s also the time when my pain is pretty severe too, even though there is rarely a day that I am not in some kind of pain. Not to mention the actual depression that comes with it. My “high”, manic, times is when my brain suddenly goes into overdrive, the ideas are coming in from every direction and I don’t seem to have time to do them all because there are so many, but I also seem to manage to get them done anyway. Sometimes. And it’s not just with crochet or any crafty project, it includes everyday things, like cleaning sprees or the urge to shop, (more yarn!) and I hate shopping in general, so it’s a good thing that I never have any money on me. I also recently found out that I have physical health issues unrelated to the Fibromyalgia. For a few years now, I have been having pain and problems with my right leg, hip, and my lower back right above the tailbone. For a very long time, I just wrote it off to be part of the Fibro problems I have, but over the last year, especially the last few months, I have become very worried that it was something worse. Just 3 months ago, I had excruciating pain from my lower back, through my right hip, down though my leg to my foot. I also lost use of that leg for most of the day. I did make an appointment and saw my PCP. He is very concerned and has ordered a bunch of tests for me to go though. I already had a series of x-rays done, I have an appointment for an EMG next week, then I see my PCP again the week after that. He also said that I will most likely get an MRI after all of that. He said that with the way my symptoms have been progressing he is worried that I will be in a wheelchair within 10 years.

My husband is very supportive and tries to help every way he can, but he is the main provider for the family and often works much overtime to make ends meet.

But, despite all of that, I keep on going and do what I have to do, crochet (and maybe occasionally knit) every chance I get, and just live.




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